There's a new religion on the block. Gabziel Koulikovian has been chosen to be the ultimate prophet of the only true religion in the world: Koulikovianism, a.k.a. Real Realationism, a.k.a. Unofficial Internet Religion #137, a.k.a. Realigion.
Today (5-20-2002) I became the Profit™ (prophet) of a new religion. The 17 Gods of Real reality revealed to me that I must decode(translate) holy scriptures saved inside Nintarga platinum video game cartridges written in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s. The Goddess D’Nala proclaimed these revelations will be grouped into books in what is to be called the Primary Historical Context (i.e. the first testament). Other revelations from the Gods are to follow soon.
Dreadful sorry our website shut down for so long! We are glad to be online again. More revelation to follow. Please contact us anytime: email@example.com
On a serious note, I became pretty frustrated at how easy it is to claim the most ridiculous things to be the "true religion," and then get so many followers of your cult. I figured I could do better than them. Within an hour, Koulikovianism was born. It ended up presenting so many possibilities, and started becoming so comprehensive, that I eventually decided to develop it into a full-blown fictional saga. (see the entry on "Why do you write the fiction that you do, and not others?")
Most of these original posts were written in 2002, with a few new ones and some revisions up through 2006.
© Gabriel Koulikov